Rattata Joey and the Amazing Failure of Everything
by Galefire
Summary: Joey can't write tests for the life of him, Cheren has to learn that the hard way. Who knew Rattata was the god of Pokemon? One-shot.


**~Random one-shot of the day, all goes to my daily pay~!**

**Just kidding. This useless one-shot is a non-profit, fan-made work, in which the creator is in no way in ownership of the Pokemon company, or any of it's characters. **

**That was a disclaimer. Eat it. **

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"You've got to be kidding me..." Cheren muttered, running a hand through his styled black hair, glowering down upon the fairly large pile of paperwork he was expected to be paying attention to.

Sighing loudly, the gym leader adjusted his glasses. Now, as anyone who has even touched a Black or White 2 game knows, Cheren doesn't have his glasses when he becomes a gym leader. Why was this?

Because Bianca freaked out after he beat her in a battle and shoved his glasses into his left kidney, that's why.

And all the kings horses and men, could never put Cheren back together again.

Why?

Because the men weren't doctors and who the hell expects a horse to get anything done?!

Jeez, do I need to explain EVERYTHING?!

So yeah, afterwards Cheren made the desicision to start wearing contacts instead, AND FOR VERY GOOD REASON. But now, that he was alone with no big green hats to piss him off (at least, not hopefully), Cheren was fully entitled to wearing whatever the hell he wanted, which might explain the miniskirt. And to be quite frank, glasses make him feel smarter then he actually is.

"I heard that." Cheren told the author, giving her a deserved glare.

Shut up.

But, back to the actual storyline (if you can even call it that), the black haired gym leader was feeling quite annoyed at the given moment. Sure, he was Cheren after all, and being annoyed was like a second nature to him, after having spent most his time with Bianca, Black, Kyouhei, White and Hugh, but this was for a different reason.

Yes, because the paper he was marking belonged to the most dreaded trainer in the history of ever: youngster Joey.

"Dun dun DUUN!" White sang in the background.

Flipping over, Cheren cast her a confused glance.

"Uh... Where exactly did you come from?"

The girl narrowed her chocolate brown eyes. "Don't ask questions." And with that, she disappeared into a cloud of smoke, because apparently she can do that now.

"Sweet Arceus..." Cheren grumbled, turning back to his papers, only to starting wishing he didn't.

The thing that he was a very simple test, you see, on with very simple questions such as "catoragize every Pokemon by breeding groups!", "Give a detailed explanation of !", "Explain what the chances are of your Wurmple evolving into a Dustox, and what is the cause for such." and, "Calculate the catch rate of a sleeping Metagross at half health being caught with a great ball."

You see? Easy stuff that everyone should know by heart.

_EVERYONE. _

But Joey... Well, he was a different case.

"**What is the origin of Pokemon?**" Cheren had written, expecting a five-hundred thousand word essay explaining the matter.

"**One Rattata, a Rattata Rattataed and bridge, and everyone was Rattata. The end**." Was Joey's oh so smart answer.

Cheren face-palmed. This kid's obsession with Rattata was getting to be extremely creepy.

"**Who created Mew-Two?**" Was the next thing being asked.

**"My Rattata.**" Joey had responded.

Seriously?

"**How much exerience does a Gible need to become a Garcomp?" **

**"...You really suck sometimes, Cheren." **

The teacher frowned, before marking his answer a -4, for being a jerk-ass.

"**How do Pokemon breed?" **

**"Two words. Rattata. Porn."**

Cheren had to give him that one.

"**Who is the god of Pokemon?" **

**"RATTATA'S RULE OVER ALL! JOIN THE RATTATA CHURCH TODAY!"**

"That's it!" Cheren exclaimed, throwing the paper into the air. "I can't take this anymore!"

Fuming, the teenage gym leader grabbed the random phone that was conveniently planned beside him. Hastily punching in a number (trust me, he know's Joey's number by heart), he brought the machine up to his ear, practically trembling with rage.

_"I just need a Rattata to looooove~! A Rattata to love! A-a Rattata to love~!" _The phone sang as he waited.

This Justin Bidoof stuff was getting annoying.

"Hello? You have reached that Rattata household, where we do Rattata stuff on a Rattata day. No, we are no doing anything illegal to any Meowths, I swear." A voice, obviously belonging to Joey, answered, sounding both annoying and oddly suspicious.

Cheren raised an eyebrow. "Uh, Joey? It's your teacher."

There was a pause.

"Oh, phew! I though you were the police!" Joey responded, obviously relieved. "Listen, next time you call, ring six times, that way I'll know it's you, okay?"

"Uh... Sure. Anyways, I need to talk to you about an important matter."

"What? Did the Smeargul make the cover of "Porn-mag weekly" again?"

Cheren felt his face go warm. Shuddering deeply, he went on.

"May I please speak to your parents?" He asked, trying to keep his composure over the terrible mental images he was getting.

"Nope."

"Might I inquire why not?"

"They're at a rave. Apparently Paras Hilton is there with them again. Last him they got her to sign my bra for me."

What the hell was up with this kid?!

"You're test!" Cheren snapped, feeling his anger finally boil over.

"..."

"..."

"...Lawl, what?"

"I came here to talk about your test! You failed! Miserably! A zero! Nothing to behold! YOU. FREAKING. FAILED."

"Wha-? But that's impossible!" Joey sounded blown away.

The teacher grit his teeth together. "Apparently not."

"But... But... Rattata's the answer to everything!" The kid replied.

"WHAT MAKES YOU THINK THAT?!"

"My daddy dropped me when I was a baby."

Well at least the kid was honest.

"Look, Joey, I'm not here to fight with you-"

Joey snorted.

"-But if you don't do better on the next one, I'm going to have to whip you." Cheren finished, wishing he was entitled to kill the child.

"That's not even legal."

"I know. Now am I clear?"

"Rattata."

Cheren groaned. "What?"

"Rattata."

"Joey, Rattata is not the answer to everything, and what your doing isn't going to prove anything."

"We'll it sure helped me get together with your mama."

The teacher recoiled instantly. "E-excuse me?!"

Without a sound nor indication, the famous youngster hung up, leaving Cheren in silence, dumbfounded.

He wondered if it was possible to expel someone on the account of them being a total dumb-ass.

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**So yeah. I was sick when writing this, so sorry if the writing's a little... Off. **

**Thanks for reading! **

**~*Galefire*~ **


End file.
